How Each of the Four Tendencies Can Benefit From Coaching
I always find personality tests pretty interesting. Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies is one that I find myself constantly referring back to, time and time again. What is unique about hers is that it isn’t about how you view yourself, or how the world views you - it's about how you respond to expectations. Being able to unlock our motivations is a powerful tool, not only for ourselves but also how we interact with others.
Curious what Tendency you are? Taking the quiz here! As with any quiz like this, we aren’t ever 100% any set group ALL the time but in my experience, it is accurate for how people have the tendency to react to expectations.
Upholders tend to hold themselves to incredibly high standards. Working with a coach will help them define which standards matter the most, and which ones can they maybe let go . While they tend to be great at holding themselves accountable and often are successful with accomplishing goals, getting more curious about why they do things may help them avoid having too tight of a hold on their life. As an Upholder myself, I find coaching to be very helpful in helping to prioritize all my competing goals.
The Questioner tendency really has to have “buy-in” to be able to follow-through. A coach will help Questioners get to understand and embrace their “why”. It is also helpful for them to gain some outside perspective and help them view challenges from a different angle.
Obligers thrive on external accountability! So having set action steps each week, and someone to report back to ensures their success with meeting goals. They are also susceptible to not making their own needs a priority so having the dedicated time to focus just on their own goals is invaluable.
Rebels often resist all expectations, both inner and outer. The coaching process is often just about asking questions which can take some pressure off of Rebels - they come to their own conclusions and create action steps for themselves after being made aware of potential consequences of their actions. We reinforce how the habit change they want to make ties back to their identity as a person.
What tendency are you?